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Life in Music…

Isn’t it funny that a song can bring you to a completely different place then you are? I have just recently started building playlists of music- and have been thinking so much about my past (and future) and it is amazing how much a certain song can completely transform your thoughts and mood.

A  90s country song takes me back to riding in the car with my dad as a young child and I can still hear his voice singing the words- especially Alan Jackson or Randy Travis! Classic Rock songs, like some good ol’ Led Zepplin or Lynard Skinnard take me camping as a kid. Listening to a Sonia Data brings me back to middle school, where life is all about Discovery. And pretty much any Green Day or 90s pop rock song reminds me of high school, where life is all about fun and learning what the world might really be like. Some songs remind me of certain people that I have known in my life- and makes me thankful I  have a reminder of them, especially if they are no longer around. And some songs I just avoid, to not remember heartbreaking times in my life.

It’s crazy how so many songs, takes me back to an event that I remember as if it were yesterday. I don’t think you realize how much a song that you hear or love will represent that time period until you hear it and  remember. Makes me wonder what songs will represent this time in my life. Only time will tell.

It’s not only about the tune, although that is a big piece of it, but the lyrics speak to me and are so often what I need to hear. Music to me is so much more then something I listen to. To me it’s who I am.

A Vent about Responsibilty

Today is one of those days I just need to vent. I feel so grumpy and I blame it on the cloud cover outside! Where is my sunshine?

Anyway- today I am really feeling down because I feel like I sometimes hate being responsible. I feel like I am nothing but responsible- for the last 10 years anyway. Welcome to adulthood right? But should we be so responsible that we lose our identity and not have any fun?

I am the only one who has been nothing but a mom since my kids were born? It IS who I am, but is it ALL that I am? I am a wife and a mom, but who am I actually? I have just recently started going out and spending time by myself and relaxing and doing what I actually want to do. But why is it that I want to be irresponsible when I am away from my everyday life? I want to spend money and get a cocktail or two… you know, stuff that is not the best, but it sure does make me happy. I just want to me without complication. I have been so thankful for the break that my husband has given me almost weekly. I try really hard to make sure he gets his fun time- most recently he has spent it motorcycle riding. I love to see him happy. I just and to be happy too.

I wish being responsible was more fun! I guess a lot of the problems in this world would not exist if it was. For me, it is always the fear of consequence that has kept me responsible (you know, what would happen if spent too much money, or drink and drive).  I am just tired of consequence. I wish I was young and dumb again and only cared for myself sometimes. Ha! Not really, but I do miss my own identity and feeling independent and not having to answer to the whole world about every move I make and why I do it. There is something so appealing about being an adult when we are younger, until we have families and houses and bills. I admire people who can feel happy in their own responsible situations.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and enjoy almost every day with them; I just wished I could have my own life 1 day out of the week where everyone else is not my main focus.  People often say I struggle with this because I set such high expectations for my life, like the way I parent and the goals I set for myself. I have started to become more laid back, so that is really helping. Maybe that is why I can recognize my own feelings and wants now.

Basically, I just have started remembering who I am and what makes me happy as a person, not just as a wife and a mother. I just feeling like an individual- I just wish it didn’t have to come at a price. Ok, that is enough venting today. Now it is time to put on a good song!

Family Reunion

This past weekend we attended our family reunion. I have always felt like it was officially summer when we have our reunion. It’s a long standing tradition, that we get together once  year to celebrate the original family members and all of the family that God has given them. My grandmother is one of 13 children, so it is so interesting to learn who everyone is. It’s hard to keep track sometimes!

I get the pleasure of “helping” my 91 year old grandmother  and  mom prepare for the reunion each year. I love to help them choose their outfits and do their hair.  So for me, the reunion is a week long event. For some family members it is the highlight of their summer.

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                                Bouncy house!! 

This year it was at my favorite location. It was at a park an hour and half away.  Just long enough to feel like a road trip, but not too long for the kids. Jason and his brother rode their motorcycles- (yeah, have I mentioned that he got a motorcycle? A topic for another time)- so that was exciting. We had a really fun time this year. I was a little bummed because there were some people that were unable to come. For the people that were there, it was really fun.

There were so many things for the kids to do. There was a little bouncy house with a slide that they loved. Unfortunately, as the mommy, I had to spend most of my time watching the kiddos jump instead of visiting with family, luckily many of my favorite cousins hung out with me in the grass. The kids jumped for hours! The food was amazing. I love the food at our reunions. Not to mention, that is was my cheat day and I loved every second of it!

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               Lunch time!! My cute family!

One of my favorite parts of the reunion was when we went swimming. Not as many of us were able to go, but we still h

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So excited to swim!!

ad a great time! Aimlee loved it. She would have stayed all day! She just wanted to independently swim with her water floaty. Evan was not equally impressed. He was already exhausted; he just wanted to be with mommy. I look forward to going swimming again and seeing if he likes it- because he loves the bath.

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Road trip! The car load!

Overall, it was a wonderful day! I love spending time with my family! I’m so thankful that my little babies get to spend time with these wonderful people who love and care for them so much! What a great way to start off the summer!

A Look at Progress

Life is funny. I think that is a true saying- “if you are not moving forward, you are standing still”. There have been very few times in life that I have been ok, “standing still”. I like to feel like have a goal, always.  While living at my mom’s I had three main goals that I want to achieve.

  • Financial Goals- get our family to a great place by the time we are ready to buy a house.
  • Focus on homeschooling my 3 year old.
  • Finally focus on my health, mentally and physically

Ha ha, my 3 Fs for the next few months to a year. Jason and I have been able to make some financial plans and investments that are still in progress.

I have had a lot of fun planning my daughter’s Preschool lessons. I plan to do many homeschool posts as things come up. She has been enjoying school and has been learning an amazing amount of material, in such a short time. The great thing about this goal is it is always being achieved and never being achieved- all at the same time! So, it is something that I can always strive for, but the possibilities are endless.

As far as my health goals. I have had some major break throughs in such a short time. Partially due to the fact that my children finally (most days) sleep through the night and that I have been in counseling and have now started a very moderate dose of anti-anxiety medicine- I finally am able to focus on my needs as well as my family’s.  My mental state is much improved and I feel like a “real” person now, instead of a “paranoid, crazy mommy”.

I have finally been able to recognize my own needs and desires through many months of therapy. It is somewhat empowering to know that I can make choices for myself and can be in control of my feelings. Something I have not been able to feel very much before, as I felt so controlled by my situation (whether my interpretation of what was happening was accurate or not).  What a great feeling.

I have also been able to start eating healthier. I have joined a shake program that I replace atleast one meal a day with a shake. I have been eating many salads and lean proteins, with healthy snacks for a little over 2 months now. What an amazing sight to start to see the difference in how I feel and look. I have lost about 8 pounds and still have a while to go, but already I feel so much better. The best part is that I have been able to make smart decisions daily. I have transformed my thinking to make the better nutritional choices and leave out the crap! However, I will never turn down a splurge here or there, I would not be ME if I did! 😀

I am looking forward to where these three goals take me in the next couple months. I love having something to strive for, even on my boring or lonely days it is nice to know I am working towards my goals.

Ch-Ch- Changes

It is absolutely amazing how much life can change in less then 6 months. In the past few months, we have sold our house, moved into my mom’s basement and had so many other changes I can’t even name them all. Usually someone would look at our situ2016-03-02 13.50.09ation and think of moving back in you2016-03-02 11.36.25r parents house as a step back in life, but is actually just the opposite for us. Doing this, will (hopefully) put us in an even better place then we would have been. We are just content being where we are now and plan to look for houses when the buyer’s market comes back around. We are so thankful to my mom for her help in letting us have this opportunity so we can save and get a leg up. Overall, it has been a great experience; of course it comes with some challenges. Mostly my biggest challenge is trying to keep the kids out of my mom’s hair more than needed. 😀  So that is a quick update on why I have seemed to have disappeared.

I feel like family life is finally starting to settle down. In the past couple months we have potty trained one kid, weaned and sleep trained another. I finally am starting to feel like an actual person, with more sleep- a lot more sleep! I also am enjoying their ever growing vocabulary! I like when we can actually discuss what is wrong. I have stayed busy with homeschooling my preschooler. It is actually fun and easy (more to come another day).

With my kids gaining independence, I also feel like I am starting to gain independence s well. I am starting to feel like a real person and not a mommy and wifey machine. I have been able to get out more on my own and do some of my favorite things… alone. I forgot just how much I love listening to music and driving. Sometimes I just look for excuses to drive! Thankfully Jason has been more willing to watch the kids. He even put them bed all by himself the other night- it was fantastic! More to come about my personal growth, another time. J

Just wanted to give a quick update on crazy life as I know it!

 

 

My 30 Before 30- The Results

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My 30th Birthday Party

 

A couple weeks ago I celebrated my 30th birthday! Hard to believe I am actually 30! I still think of that as “grown up” which I don’t feel most of the time. I wanted to embrace my 30th year and make “growing up” fun and full of many memories. Here is a list of things I wanted to achieve before my 30th birthday. Some I still need a little work on, but hey- there is always a New Year’s Resolution! 😉

  • Lose 15 lbs– ok, well I lost 7 pounds! I started a workout routine that I have stuck to really well (with the exception of October, which has been a CRAZY month). I have never really been the work out type, so even 3-4 days a week on the treadmill is huge for me! I could have lost more, but I was able to have dairy again in my diet (I was restricted from nursing my son with allergies). I do not regret eating ice cream- that is for sure! J
  • Learn to Crochet– I would like to actually make something. I did learn how to do the round stitch in the beginning of a hat, so I would like to work on this more!
  • New/additional job– God is so good! I lost my job about a month after making my list and spent each week looking for the “right” job. I found THAT job and started this month- the week before my birthday. It is the perfect job for me- I am a Director for tutoring company- which is similar to an enrollment councilor. I will be working evenings and weekends (from home) so Jason will get he spend more time with the kids!
  • Paint something– This is something I have done A LOT in the past 6 month
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    My favorite of the paintings I did this year

    s! I have painted many paintings for my house, a photo prop board and T-shirts for a race we “ran”

  • Try a new food- OMG, I Tried Tempura from Kakaro in July. I was amazing!
  • Finish Aimlee’s Scrapbook and get caught up on Evan’s– This was a huge goal! I am
    all the way caught up on AImlee’s except for a few pictures I need to get printed to add in. I have not started Evan’s yet, but I do have the pictures and book ready when I am ready to start! I am
    hoping to do more scrapbooking this winter!
  • Write 5 handwritten letters– I like writing letters and this was an encourager to send cards and letters to some of my family members.
  • Take a class- I took a painting class, 5 actually! I love the Painting and Sipping industry.
  • Learn to cook something new– I am trying really hard to expand our tiny menu of dinner options with a very picky husband. I have tried to cook 2 new meals so far- chicken enchiladas- that were amazing. I got the recipe from my aunt. I also made honey, balsamic green beans and chicken- that was pretty good too. No one ate either meal except me! It was sad! I am hoping to try new meal options that my family will actually eat.
  • Sing– Does the car count? I was hoping to rejoin choir at church, but with our crazy schedule, I haven’t made that happen yet. Maybe sometime soon.
  • Do something charitable– We donated to the church garage sale, instead of our own sale we helped someone with. We also gave money to a homeless person. I need to do more!
  • Something different with my hair– So in the past 6 months I have cut about 7 inches off my hair, made layers and tapering and have made 3 Peek A Boo Kool-Aid Stripes (dyed my hair with Kool-Aid)!
  • Wear something ridicules in public– I am pretty sure I do this at least once a week, but I spent a lot of time in holey paint clothes in public in the past 3 months.
  • Host a party– I am partied out! I LOVE party planning, but am ready to take a break! I hosted a 91st birthday for my grandmother, a birthday party for my kids, my 30th birthday and a baby shower for a friend of mine.

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    Evans birthday party

  • Do a Bible study– I did a Bible study on how to find joy in the day to day life.
  • Organize my pictures and scrapbooking stuff– This was a huge process, but I spent like 3 weeks sorting and organizing. All my scrapbooking, craft and stamping stuff is organized
    . It is wonderful to know where things are!
  • Do something outside my comfort zone– I currently take Aimlee to Awanas every Sunday night. This is very much something outside my comfort zone. I am always so paranoid my kids are going to get sick, so group play and learning in a Preschool type environment is a germ zone in my head! Each week, I ask God to help me focus on the amazing things she is learning. She has already learned 4 Bible verses, among great lessons! Plus loves her friends and teachers.
  • Wear my good clothes (and get rid of my old ones)- I have been really trying to do this. I always wanted to “save” my good clothes for special occasions, so I have clothes that I have never worn. I have gotten much better about wearing my good clothes.
  • Enter a contest– I entered a painting contest, didn’t win, but it was really fun!
  • Do something special for my husband– My husband is obsessed with the video game Destiny. On the night the yearly update came out, he was going to get up at 2:00am to play all “night”, I made him a kit with all his favorite foods to enjoy all night. (I also have a fu2015-07-18 17.43.10n evening planned when we can get a babysitter for something fun, instead of a need).
  • See a movie– In July we took Aimlee to see the Minions movie-her first movie, it was so fun!
  • Visit my grandmother every week– I did really great on this all summer long, and hope to more now that I have a set schedule with work. I saw her today, it was so fun!
  • Plant something– Well, we did not do any gardening or planting this year at all, however we did cut down trees and I spent a lot to time in the yard doing that. I also watered the grass like 4 times. 😉
  • Go an entire month without spending any money (on anything other then bills, food and gas)- We have not had a lot of money to spend on other things lately, but we haven’t gone completely without spending money- so I would still like to do this!
  • Sell something– Jason and I worked together to sell some equipment from my step father. We were happy the machine went to a good home. It would make Bobbie smile from Heaven.
  • 2015-07-25 19.49.56Walk a couple times a week– I have not this nearly as much as I need to. The kids love to go for a walk and it is good for me to get out! New Goal!!
  • Have a girls days out– some great friends and I took a painting class, I also went out with my cousins (“sisters”) for a craft class and lunch.
  • Get messy– I have done a lot of baking and it’s amazing what a mess frosting and food dye make! My hands were stained for a whole day!
  • Memorize 10 new Bible verses– I have been really excited learning more verses. Aimlee and I sing her verses in the car and at home, so I get to memorize all of her verses too!2015-10-10 16.44.47
  • Celebrate! That we did! J

I just want a “normal day”!

Sometimes God gives us reminders to be thankful for all the “normal” days in our lives. We got a reminder this past week.

We thought our sweet boy was teething. He was grumpy and whiney starting last Tuesday. I noticed he was sleepy and had a fever when it was time for bed. He woke several times in the night with his fever- even though I gave him Tylenol. Wednesday was a sad day- we thought he must be getting his baby molars since his fingers were in mouth and he had a fever. His fever was so warm- and I was trying to not give Tylenol around the clock so I used cool cloths to help him feel better. We were up most of the night- and he threw up for the first time in his life. It was horrible. If you know me at all, you know my phobia of my loved ones (and everyone in the world) throwing up. It is something that absolutely freaks me out and is the worst (except a life threatening illness) for me! Thursday when Evan woke up, I gave him a bath and started to clean up again when he threw up again. That was it- OH NO!!!!! It really was a tummy bug. I knew my paranoia was for a reason!

He ended up not be able to keep anything down, so I ended up in the doctor’s office so they could give his a quick check up since he had a fever for three days and was getting dehydrated. The doctor ran some tests and was a bit concerned about his hydration. She had to do a catheter to check for a bladder infection. That was traumatic.  She advised us to take him to the ER at 8:00PM in the evening if he had not had the adequate amount of wet diapers.

So at 10:00PM, there we were in the ER of Children’s Hospital. Now, the germ-a-phobe in me freaks out in a place like that. There were like 4 kids threatening to puke there- OMG! Seriously, it was a struggle to be there and felt so contaminated. Once we got to an actual room we worked on hydrating- which did not work. We eventually had to get an IV to hydrate him- and that was traumatic! It took 3 locations to find a vain that would work…

Not much progress was being made and when 4:30AM rolled around we learned we would be getting admitted and getting a room. This was a huge shock! WHAT? We came in for fluids. We were moved to a room. I was so happy we were there.

Friday and Saturdays were hardest days. Evan was so lethargic he just laid down, showing no interest in toys or anything. The most he would move would be to get away from the nurses coming to give medicine or take vitals.

On Sunday, they finally had a diagnoses, C-Diff, a bacterial infection in the gut. They were still not sure if it was a virus that led to all this, or the C-Diff that made him so sick, We started antibiotics and Evan was  feeling  much better on Monday. He ate some, and started to move around a bit. He even played for tiny minute. So, on Tuesday we came home. He is still not 100%, but is feeling much better.

I am so so thankful for the wonderful Hospital and the amazing nurses. The doctors are great too, but the nurses are amazing people. Even though I know it is “their job” to come check on my son and to help him, but I am still so so thankful! What an amazing career to chose. God made special people nurses!  I know I am so thankful!!!

A New Season

I guess it’s time for me to get back into blogging. I took a little summer hiatus and for some reason, the longer I take to write, the harder it is to get back into to it. It has been a busy summer and with the season change, I figure it is time to get back into my routines (hopefully).
I have a lot of anticipation going into this next week. I will start a new job, host a huge party and turn 30!! I’m sure I will have more on that later.
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Before moving into the season of Fall, I feel like want to reflect a little on the summer. We have had many fun outings this summer including an air show, the zoo, splash park and park with some friends, a couple movies, a few pain
ting classes and many more places.

I also (walked) a 5K- the Wipeout Run, from the TV show- ran for a 2015-05-28 10.48.09small time but mostly walked- we were exhausted from the Obstacle Course! I was pretty proud of myself for being willing to try it. It was out of my comfort zone, but ended up being really fun.
I have also organized and cleaned most of my house. I wanted to have a fresh feeling going into the dreaded cold seasons. It has been exhausting, but well worth it. Jason has been so busy playing video games for the past month. I miss him a lot, but have been quite motivated to get a lot of chores done. I’m sure he thinks of it as a “win-win”- play games and get the house cleaned. 😛
We have still had a lot of responsibilities to deal with, in the way of family deaths. Slowly but surely we have been2015-08-29 18.27.56 crossing off our TO DO list. We also started a huge project working on my mom’s basement. It was ruined in that crazy flood two years ago, and has been a construction zone every since. We are finally on the tail end of this project- although sometimes it seems to have no end. We are close though.
We also celebrated our sweet babies’ birthdays. Precious Evan is ONE now and my baby girl, Aimlee is THREE. We celebrated wIMG_3379ith a little party. It is wonderful watching them grow and learn every day. I think that phrase, “I love you more each day” is a true statement. If possible I love them more every single day!
As much
as I am disappointed that Summer is over, I am a little excited for the next season of life to come. A new job, a new kind of life. We will see how it goes, but God is good!

Where have I been?

So the fact that I have missed a few weeks of blogging, is a good indicator of how heavily I rely on my phone reminders. My reminder app stopped working and I lost all my weekly reminders. So here I am…

The past couple weeks, I have been preparing to throw my grandmother a birthday party. It was cow themed. Her name is Elsie, so she has always collected ‘Elsie the Borden Cow’ items.  I enjoyed preparing the many party decorations and food. See the Spotted Cow Cake and the Photo Prop Board.2015-07-06 13.34.01

In other news, I had to get a mole removed and get stitches. I’m such a baby! I had stitches when I was like 3 and after child birth, that’s it! This really hurts! It’s starting to itch now- so hopefully it will feel better soon. I get the stitches out in two weeks.

The kids are doing great! Evan has been having a little trouble sleeping, but he seems to have a little stuffy nose- so maybe that is why. Aimlee is finally recovering from a little cold she had. She still has a cough though. Other then that, they are learning and growing every day! Evan is eating crackers and cheerios!

This week, is catch up and clean week! Wish me motivation!

On the Move!

This has been a busy week of movement. Evan has started crawling!! He has been crawling for almost a week now- and he has gotten fast! He can go into different rooms and under tables so quickly. Aimlee is not quit2015-06-18 11.40.19 e sure about the whole situation, as he follows her around and wants to play with all her toys. He has also started to pull himself up. He is growing up so quickly- 2 months until he is ONE!

Aimlee is loving the summer weather. Water, BBQs and playgrounds, are some of her favorite activities. There is so much to do in the summer and I am not as paran2015-06-20 11.13.36oid about germs and baths are easier since it’s warmer. So we get out a lot more this time of year.

I have been having fun planning a 91st birthday for my grandmother. I am so thankful for such a fun project this summer.

This upcoming weekend is our 5 year wedding anniversary- which means we have been together for 11 years. It’s crazy to think about. I can still remember our first year of dating like it was yesterday. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful partner in life. God gave me a true everyday blessing. I look forward to celebrating our love this weekend!